How did you deal with giving your child up for adoption?

I am a birth mother. On May 22 2013, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. While I was pregnant, I thought that this was the decision that I wanted and needed to make. Now after giving birth and everything is final, I am having so many regrets. The adoptive parents and I didn’t go through an adoption agency, instead they got a lawyer. His adoptive parents are my uncle and his wife. Its very pro and con. I love getting updates and pictures of him almost everyday, but it also kills me. I just want to hold him in arms everytime that I see a new picture. He has already grown up so much. He already is trying to sit up. I want to be there to experience these moments. I have PPD and am having to take medication. I also am starting therapy, but since we didn’t go through an adoption agency, no free counseling. Its hard dealing with the aftermath. I cry myself to sleep almost every night while looking at his pictures and thinking what could have been. My question is to all of you birth mothers in a similar situation. Should I ask the adoptive parents to stop sharing pictures and updates so often? Sometimes I feel that it makes it worse. Also, how did you deal with giving your child up for adoption? I feel like hearing some other birthmother’s stories might help me enormously. Hope to get many different opinions. I’m extremely open minded when it comes to the situation. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

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