Should I speak up about my discomfort with birth grandparents’ actions?

We have a situation with one set of birthgrandparents. I have to say that we have come a long way since the beginning of the adoption 8 years ago, but during our annual visit, they always manage to do or say something that I consider to be inappropriate or crossing the line. But perhaps I am being too picky. Would like to hear another opinion.

Here is an example: During our last visit, which was to a family fun place with arcade games, bowling, etc., (it was my husband, my daughter, my son, and my niece, and me). We were set up at 2 bowling alleys. My daughter and I were sitting at one side of the table, and her birthfather and his parents were on the other side. After about 15 or 20 minutes, I looked down and noticed that his mother was trying to hide a video camera and was recording my daughter and me. I didn’t say anything, because whatever I said was going to be recorded. But also, it caught me off guard. I’m thinking, if she wants to take pictures of my daughter, fine, but doing openly, not all sneaky! And I don’t appreciate myself and our conversation being recorded! My niece approached me afterward and asked if I knew that we were being recorded, and expressed her concern about how both she and my son were also being recorded.

ALSO, when we left the bowling alley, we all went together to play video games…the kind that gives tickets for prizes. Both my son and niece went on their own and would bring me their tickets for my daughter to use. (I thought was sweet of them) The birthfather and his parents followed my daughter around to all the games she wanted to play. Fine. But when my son came up to my daughter to hand her some more tickets and ask if she was having fun, his mother got in his face and reprimanded him, asking him defensively, “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!?!” He backed off and said something about looking after his sister. I did not witness this, but my niece and son told me about it after the fact (after we left) I definitely would have said something to her…because she for sure was in the wrong in this case. But the point is…things like this happen each time we meet. It is to the point I dread the visit. But I’m not sure if I should remain quiet or if I should speak up to maybe the birthfather before our next visit.

Any suggestions?

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